It feels like I have been careening into the new year without much chance to catch a breath. As I write this I am thinking about the families of three long time Bethany members who passed in the past week.
I am preparing to do the funeral for Ken Carter at 10 am this morning at Snow’s. The other two members who died this past week are Sheila Gray, and Elsie Kline. I don’t believe that arrangements have been finalized for Sheila’s service, and there will be a private family gathering for Elsie at a later date. All three have not been active at Bethany for a number of years.
I was told by Elsie’s daughter Anne (who I knew in my early days at St. John’s United Church) that Elsie never missed an online service. In fact, Anne told me that she was watching the service on Dec. 29th with Elsie and she saw Alana onscreen … and remembered that she had been one of her Brownie leaders! Small world Halifax, right? I love to hear who is watching us online … but that story was a bonus. I reminded once again of how important our online ministry is, even when it feels quite anonymous at times.
All three of these folks were at one time active in the Bethany community. Although they haven’t been around for some time, it’s not hard to find the memories and stories that they have left behind within members of the faith community.
I realized I have been thinking a lot about families this week. I am always humbled to be planning a funeral with families. There is something very holy and sacred about listening to stories about a loved one, hoping that I have created a safe enough space for folks to open up, to share, to cry, to laugh, so that I can write a meaningful reflection.
Also this weekend I am presiding at a wedding on Saturday – for Sarah Weatherston and Byron Kavanagh. It will be my first wedding at Bethany. It is wonderful that the logistics and hospitality piece of planning weddings is part of Louisa’s ministry at Bethany, and great to have her guiding me through the specifics of how things work here. Every congregation is a bit different. This will be fairly large … lots of attendants, 100 people, a wedding planner … and of course a large reception and celebration afterwards (offsite).
To have the privilege of walking with families through these huge transitions, in times of celebration and times of sorrow, is what ministry is all about. And it is an honour, truly.
I realized, in my musings and careening from one event to another, wondering what to write about in my blog this week, that folks probably don’t know much about my other “kids” … you know lots about Alana and Matt and Murphy, but we do have two others … both in their 40s. Alana essentially grew up with four parents … (and we always had built in baby sitters … as long as the lego box was handy!) … and then when she was 8 or 9 she became like an only child because her brothers moved out.
This week I tried to take the day off on Tuesday. I was “mostly” successful.
We wanted to see our oldest, Chris, before he goes out to sea for 6 weeks. Chris and his wife Tiffany live just outside Chester. We usually end up at The Kiwi Café in Chester, which is a great place to meet and have lunch. Chris is a cook on one of Clearwater’s shrimp boats. This means that when he works, he is out for about 5 or 6 weeks, cooking for a crew of about 30. The boat has the capacity for cooking and processing what they catch, so the crews work in several shifts round the clock. Chris always has to have something ready in the galley for folks before and after their shifts, as well as meals ready for breakfast, lunch and dinner. It’s a demanding job. But then he is home for 5 or 6 weeks.
He has done this now for a number of years. Before this latest boat he was on one of the clam boats which would often be around the Grand Banks. This latest boat that he is on is brand new, Danish, state of the art, and apparently the pride of the fleet. They are mostly fishing around Greenland. Anyway, it’s a whole other world that I knew nothing about before, and am only learning about now in bits and pieces. But it’s all fascinating.
We had a great lunch (picture of Tiffany, Chris and Pat below) and visit.
Also … a picture of the whole family at Alana’s wedding in Toronto in December 2023. Just to show you that we can clean up well!
Blessings on your week ahead.
Duncan, Tamara, Pat, Alana, Matt, Martha, Chris, Tiffany
